Is it My Intuition or Just Society Norm?

Is it My Intuition or Just Society Norm?

Intuitive nudge or society norm? 

Do you ever find that we are constantly seeking for approval and happiness from others? Not making a decision until someone else has given us the go ahead or running something by someone before we do it. 

I do it all the time, I love something but before I do it, I run it past people just to check that it’s valid? 

I wonder if it comes from the fact that we spend so so long as ‘kids’. Like think about, most animals are ‘adults’ by the time they are like 4. Where as for us, we live under our parents rules until we are like in our 20’s now. 

That’s mad isn’t it? 

Think about it, we don’t have own mind until we leave home? But then again I’d argue do we even have it then? As we follow society norms or attend work everyday. Are we just being moulded into something that isn’t truly us? 

Don’t worry this isn’t some conspiracy post about the government or anything like that. It’s more a journal entry so I can shine the light on where im waiting for people’s approval and acceptance. 

I’ve often ignored my intuition as a way to keep others happy. I’ve thought ‘oh it will be ok’ and guess what? It wasn’t.

Eventually my intuitive nudges become so so loud that it forces you to change.

Youtube was similar, I told myself the story that I no longer did that. I was focusing on Pro:Direct and I no longer had the time… 

Eventually my intuitive nudges got louder and I started up again. 

Then I started seeing someone and my little tiny voices were ignored, put to bed and I started doing things that people expected me to do but not what my soul really wanted me to do.

It’s like I’ve got this weird switch that as soon as I stop listening to myself I slowly self destruct further. I guess this is a strong sign to keep listening to my intuition right? 

I guess it still comes back to the whole not being good enough and seeking outside approval. Worrying people won’t like me if I show my real self or I’ll be seen as selfish if I do something that I just want to do rather than what I have to do. 

I’ve become so good as self discipline, that as we know it can go too far and it becomes way too restrictive. 

I’m not sure where this leading too today all I know is again I wake up and I commit to finding joy, finding love & doing things that light me up. 

As we come to the end of April, another month of the happiness project is done and while I’ve worked well on the things I said: 

  • Share something everyday, be the light
  • Write a schedule for the day
  • Prioritise self care

There is actually more I need to do to be able to accept me and fully me. 

So here is May: 

  • Do something I genuinely find joyful and fun everyday. Where I really switch off e.g reading fiction for fun, skateboarding, watching a funny tv show.
  • Reach out to a loved one. Having stronger relationships will help me feel as though im accepted and can be fully myself.
  • Cook a substantial meal everyday. A fuelled body will keep my energy levels stable which in turn will give me more confidence in my self and is clearly an act of self love. 

The journey of feeling good enough continues x x x 

Our Thoughts Become Our Reality

Our Thoughts Become Our Reality

Maybe just don’t do It if it’s going to hurt Chlo ?

It’s a simple yet effective task that. 

You know, just avoiding doing things that are probably going to hurt you. You know, like looking at the news for way longer than you anticipated, for following that person that makes you feel shit, for stalking someone from your past. 

Why do we do it? Does it come back to that self sabotage thing? The fact that society shuns us for having fun and feeling happy. 

I don’t really know where im going with this today apart from I went to go on someones instagram that quite frankly makes me feel like shit and just as I was about too a little voice said to me ‘whats the point’ and stopped me. 

It just guided me to open up my Mac and talk about it. 

Self sabotage is a funny one isn’t it. 

Our ego is very much there to protect us, to stop us doing anything that might harm up, that might in flicked change and while the ego has a very important job in protecting us it can often do us more harm than good. 

The ego and your intuition is so hard to tell the difference between too because the ego feels so comfortable. Our ego is the thing that keeps us in the comfortable spaces, the usual spaces. The ego is the thing that will keep us stagnant and not going after our goals and our dreams.

Our ego is the thing that keeps us routed and is the thing that tells us to dream so big but it’s only there to keep us safe. 

But real growth comes from uncertainty, real growth comes from uncomfortable positions, risks and often shit situations. 

We are all going through growth at the moment whether we see it as that or not and I for one have found I’ve had emotions and past situations brought to the surface to shine a light on for me to acknowledge and heal.

The relationship with myself and my body I’ve learnt has come down to a subconscious story of not feeling safe. My ego got comfortable with not feeling safe in my own skin, my go too is to lock myself away and to not get hungry. It’s like the loneliness and the lack of food numbed the feeling of not being safe. 

I’ve worked through that. Affirmations, tarot cards, journalling and meditation has got me daily reminding myself that I am safe, I am worthy and I am enough. 

Other feelings like imposters syndrome or that worry im not good enough have risen. Worried im not doing enough at work and then worrying because im working at home what if they think im not doing anything? Worry worry worry. Worrying that all comes down to the deep stories I told myself for years that I wasn’t good enough, that I needed to be better, that I needed to strive for more. 

Today on a call with a friend I was giving her some pearls of wisdom from the many books I’ve read and while I was relaying the information to her I couldn’t help but realise that actually these words were for myself. 

I’ve got this big pull recently to head to a beach the opposite side of the river from me, it’s where I keep having these huge epiphanies and thats where it was today. 

I was talking about how the universe knows what we desire when we launch the first rocket up, when we first declare it. Just like the waiter knows what we want when we order it. We wouldn’t keep going to the waiter, how long, how long, is it coming, when’s it coming and checking he knew what we ordered, every 5 minutes would we? Yet I often find myself doing that with the universe. 

Instead when we order food, we just enjoy the time while we wait. We have good conversation, we may laugh and really connect with others and enjoy it until it comes and then when it comes, it’s exactly what you ordered (99% of the time anyway).

This is exactly the same thing with the universe. The universe delivers when we are on the same frequency to what we desire. If we are constantly asking and checking on our manifestation from a state of fear that the universe will get it wrong (or the waiter has forgotten) it won’t come to us as quickly as we’d liked. 

We have to tune into the frequency of the manifestation that we have asked the universe. So if you’re wanting to manifest more money, what is the feelings you’ll feel when you have that money? Or if you’re wanting to go on holiday – what are the feelings you’ll feel on that holiday? Those are the feelings we need to embody now. 

We need to connect to the universe through the frequencies of the things we desire. I often forget this and through writing and meditating bring myself back to the realisation that by focusing on love, joy and gratitude then I will constantly manifest more of that into my life. 

My appreciating and loving where we are right now allows us to get on the same frequency as even more good shit. By focusing on what we don’t have and constantly asking for it, we’re on the same frequency as what we are focusing on. 

We manifest what we think about. So let’s all check out thoughts and make sure we are thinking of love and joy. 

Xxxx

What’s the difference between masculine & feminine energies?

What’s the difference between masculine & feminine energies?

I keep having epiphanies. This lockdown is causing me all kind of things in me but as woo woo & deep as it sounds I haven’t felt this level of healing since I went to Thailand 2 years  ago. 

I try to share as much as I can but this lockdown I’ve dug deep trying to claw up all the unnecessary baggage I’ve been dragging about with me. I email my epiphanies to my stepdad because we can blame him for my spiritual side but he just gets it. 

Some days I wake up not being able to move other days I’m putting on my trainers wondering how hard it really would be to run 5k in 10 minutes and that kind of sums up my past 2 years. 

Ridiculous amounts of energy which I didn’t know what to do with then bam nothing. 

The word balance id only use when I was wondering how to balance the 50,000 things I wanted to do in that 5 minutes. 

Don’t get wrong I’ve grown so much and do have so much more balance in my life but it does depends what area of my life you look at. 

Sleep, general wellness, body acceptance, allowing foods I want? Kinda Nailed it. 

Over working, not seeing loved ones, allowing myself to have fun and do things just because & actually fuelling myself for my days? Working on it. 

I’ve spent the past few years of my life in my masculine (your body is made up of both a masculine & feminine side. The masculine is your drive, power and leadership. The feminine is your nurturing, caring, receiving) 

So the masculine, where I’ve lived for years – That is the side of you that GETS SHIT DONE. I’m 24, brand manager, first class degree and my own apartment. I’ve got shit done. But the masculine doesn’t really care how it gets done, it just gets done. 

That’s what I did. My divine feminine didn’t just get moved to the side she got trampled on. Only allowing to poke her head out on a spa day. My hormones were fucked. I had no oestrogen, no period, no self love and struggled to show emotion. 

But in the words of pink… were not broken just bent & we can learn to love again. LOL CRINGE. 

But that’s what this lockdown is allowing me to do. Slowing down, meditating, yoga-ing, connecting with my body again and I’ll forever be grateful for that. 

With a lot of resistance at the start, a few wobbles, days not eating just working & others where I’ve simply just over done it … I know that on the day we start to see family & friends again, I’ll be full of love and oestrogen LOL. 

Xxxx 

If you have changed, then so have they… right?

If you have changed, then so have they… right?

I’m the first to shout that people can change. I’m waving the flag for all us that have changed. I know that people can change because if you told 18 year old chloe that she wouldn’t be going to the gym 7 times a week and would do yoga over HIIT… oh and meditate I’d have laughed and told you to eff off. 

I have a bigger heart, I care more. I’m more optimistic… 

I had to stop writing then. Because I thought actually I have always been caring so have I changed? Or has my personality started to show, just more unapologetically? 

I think I’ve just managed to contradict myself in the space of 5 seconds. Wtf. Lol.

Now I guess I’m asking something…

Do people change or are they just more self aware? More mature? Know themselves more? Is that even a change? 

Because looking back I’ve always cared a lot but I guess it sometimes got suppressed with the need of being perceived as normal & good enough. 

Ok ok I’ve got it. I think. 

WHAT IF. Everyone does have it in them to be the kindest and most loveable people but their limiting beliefs hinder them? 

WHAT IF. With age and some time alone you are able to peel back the onion to reveal those? 

Oh I don’t know. I’ve confused myself now. 

I just wanted to share that I have an epiphany yesterday. 

‘If you can change so much Chlo, why can’t others? Let your past go’ 

I don’t know about you but sometimes I can find myself declaring things about people that I don’t even know anymore. 

We’re holding onto our past, holding onto who they were. But if you can notice changes in yourself and you were able to change then you can bet your bottom dollar (love that saying lol) that everyone else has changed too. 

Whether for the good or bad that also isn’t for you/us/me (dunno what tense I’m talking in now) to judge or even know. 

Just like you (ok I’m talking to myself so when I say you I mean me as if it’s a journal feature ok) … 

Just like you are proud of how much you’ve changed and know that not many people know you anymore it’s important to remember that this has most definitely happened to others too. 

So Miss Hodgkinson you can quit the whole ‘this person is like this because..’ because actually you have no bloody idea.

If you can change, if your world has changed. Then theirs would/could too. 

Rewrite your thoughts on others. Wipe the slate clean. Let your past go. Learn more. 

and if you lot reading this knew me a few years ago, I ask you from the bottom of my heart whether you could do the same please x 

(Coz I’m a lot weirder now lol) 

I’ll be happy when…

I’ll be happy when…

They say successful people are the ones that continue to show up. They say the happiest are the ones that live with fulfilment. 

What if you don’t know what fulfills you? What if we are constantly climbing the ladder? I’ll be happy when…. 

I’ll be happy when I’m skinny, when I’ve got through this project, when I’ve moved house, when I have a pay rise, when my boss likes me, when he falls in love with me. 

I like to think I’m pretty honest with you guys. I’ve always chased better, I’ve always chased happier.

I’ve suffered from ammenorhea for nearly 2 years now. I’m recovered now, this month I’ll have my period. I’m healthy now. I’m just waiting for it to come. But for so so many months the words ‘I’ll sort myself out after…’ we’re words that were constantly coming out of my mouth. 

I was burnt out, trying to always do more in order to find happiness. Trying to do more to be the healthiest, to be perfect. Nothing was ever quite enough… and if I thought it was for 2 seconds well then I’d push the boundaries some more. 

‘Give me 2 more weeks and I’ll sort myself out’

What even is sorting myself out? All I needed to do was stop for a second and look at what I had around me. I was actually able to be happy now, not then but I was so not present that it was impossible to see. 

I don’t regret anything in my life. Each experience shaped me now, developed me as a person. Good or bad choices, they’ve shaped my morals, my values and current story. 

What I am aware of now though is I visit places I’d been too before and noticed things I had no idea about. I knew I’d been there but didn’t remember a thing.

A while a go I visited Dartmouth with family, we got fish and chips. I knew me and my ex boyfriend went here when we were 18 once but I barely remembered it… I only remember thinking ‘I went gym straight after to burn them off’… madness. 

I missed out of enjoying company, having a laugh, new experiences because I was so focused on ‘becoming happy’ that I had no idea that actually happiness is found now. Happiness wasn’t going to be found when I was skinny, happiness was there in front of me I just couldn’t see it. 

I think that’s why I make such a big deal out of the small things now. Why gratitude is so important to me, why noticing and reflecting on the good things in everyday is so important. 

It’s mad when you actually stay focused on being present. It’s mad how much more of life you see, the relationships you build and the enjoyment you fill. 

Whenever you can, I urge you to stop at one point in your day and just notice something you’ve enjoyed today. Take some breathes and  ground yourself, look around you and realise that whatever journey you’re on you’re allowed to be happy now. 

You can find happiness and still want to grow. 

Love ya xxxx 

Pain vs Pleasure Theory

Pain vs Pleasure Theory

The pain and pleasure theory…. 

IGTV got me explaining more in words again. 

Tony Robbins introduces me to this theory. The theory that as humans we seek pleasure and avoid pain. That’s basically how we make decisions.

Would you like to go pub? 

At the moment your brain will associate pub with either pain or pleasure and that’s how you’ll decide what to do. 

Getting up for 6am gym when it’s cold, dark and rainy? 

Is the pain getting out of bed when your bed is so comforting and warm greater than the pleasure you’ll experience from going to the gym? 

You make that decision. Have a think about it, it’s in everything we do. Stomach growls giving us pain so eat to avoid the pain of hungry and we will eat something tasty to seek the pleasure. 

Understanding this theory has done wonders for me when it comes to making decisions and is one I’d really encourage you to think about. 

When setting goals Try this: 

  1. acknowledging change needs to be made. The first step is acknowledgement. You’ve noticed something that needs to change. This might be that you’re overweight or you’re really unfit. 
  2. Set your goals. You’ve acknowledged your overweight so you set a goal to loose weight. I’d recommend you then break down your ultimate goal into more specific and measurable goals… see manifesting post. This could be loose 1 stone by the time I go on holiday. 
  3. Find your why. Having a purpose to achieve this goal and a why really helps cement you’re goal in an emotional way. To loose 1 stone by the time you go on holiday. Why? Because then I feel good in a bikini and not want to cover up so can get a nice tan and feel happy sitting around the pool just like every other holiday. You’re going to want to remember your why when things get hard. 
  4. Set a plan. You may reach out to a PT, start a programme or start eating healthier and moving more. Each day from now on you’ll be faced with the pain and pleasure theory when it comes to working towards your goals. 

You’re at a party, you’ve enjoyed one bit of cake because the pain of saying no when it’s your favourite every cake is greater than if you were to allow yourself a small piece and enjoy every moment. You’re offered a second piece – here comes the decision, remember your why. Is the pain of saying no to the second bit greater than the pain you’ll feel if you don’t feel comfortable and happy on holiday? 

Tony explains that we are more likely to avoid pain than seek pleasure. For example, if you’re eating the yummiest food in the world but suddenly someone comes in threatening to kill you unless you stop eating it. No matter how delicious that cake was, dying is more painful… dramatic example but I think you get it. 

I use this theory to help me make more conscious decisions. Help keep me accountable and help make decisions that are aligned with me and my goals. 

I use the why part to help remind me and to make an emotional connection to my goal. 

I use goals to help have a purpose. 

I love having a purpose so my life stays interesting and fulfilled. 

Yours could too. 

Love as always legends xxxx 

How I Manifest

How I Manifest

If you haven’t seen my latest IGTV then you need to have a sit down with yourself and get watching…. https://www.instagram.com/p/B1HHhnKHQZu/

If you have then you might be finding yourself here because you want some more info on what I meant.

  1. Be Clear on what you want.

Ha this is a fun one. Partly because when I say be clear, I really bloody mean it. I’ve always found manifesting my desires quite easy. more so since I’ve become more self-aware and a bit more into this spiritual fun.

When I say that what you say and what you think will manifest I’m not lying and that’s why you have to be super clear.

I’ve manifested things into existence that I definitely said and thought but didn’t mean too…. or well I did but I wasn’t clear enough.

One day I’ll share my experiences but right now I’m not in a place to share my big ones because they include other people and that’s unfair. But an example could be manifesting a new car… you get a new car and it’s not what you wanted, you wanted a VW golf but never asked for one so all you found were Honda’s.

  1. Get clear on exactly what you want and if you’re not 100% explore your desires. 

For me right now, I want success, happiness and to be able to love and receive in an abundance of ways. I’ve noticed that my lack of menstrual cycle when all my hormones are fine could be linked with my lack of being open to being loved. So instead of manifesting my period, I’m manifesting the feelings and lifestyle of who I’d be if I had a regular mensural cycle.

  1. Set Your Goal

So you know what you want. Now time to ask for it. I journal my goals and desires and create vision boards or write stories about my dream life.

My ultimate goal is to get my period back ultimately so I’ll set mini goals to get me there.

When writing goals make them measurable and achievable. For me, this would look something like:

  1. keep my stress levels low by having baths, breathing and yoga.
  2. Eat enough calories and carbs by having 3 large meals a day and always eating to satisfaction.
  3. Only train in the gym for a skill and enjoyment. Follow Adonis’ plan and keep up gymnastics. This stops any more stress and reduces chances of over exercising.
  1. Visualise it & Acting as if 

How would the you that’s achieved your manifestation live? How would you act, how would you feel? What would you do?

Work out how someone who already has what you want acts and actively take part in the activities that they do.

For me, I’d have to each month buy sanitary products. I’d be relaxed and be conscious of what time of the month it is. I’d have a sense of overall well-being, In my eyes I’d be oozing health. So that’s exactly what I’m going to act like. I no longer act as someone in recovery of amenorrhea but I speak as if I have a period, as if I’m fertile and visualise myself a MILF when I’m older, walking with my pram along the sea front and dressing the little legends in the best outfits.

  1. Be really Grateful 

It’s amazing to want to grow and change. It’s good to want to develop who you are and want more from life but and id say this is the biggest one you have to be grateful for what you already have.

I’m mega grateful that my lack of period made me realise how much I want to be a mum (MILF) one day. I’m so grateful that it’s made me educate myself on the importance of a cycle and fuelling  your body. I’m grateful I have the ability to make changes, I’m grateful for the ability to tell my story and journey, I’m grateful to still have be alive. I’m grateful for so many other things in my life.

Finding reasons to still be grateful in hard times is crucial to manifesting. Like attracts like so give gratitude and happiness and you’ll receive even more.

  1. Give 

I didn’t mention this on my video. But this is a step to include. Once you’ve asked for something go out and give more of yourself to others. The cycle of giving and receiving is so lovely. So in order to receive, go out and give some more.

  1. Don’t stress about it

The more you actively stress and obsess about a situation the more it won’t happen. Let it go, breathe through and trust the world has your back on this. I bet that when you’re least expecting it it will happen.

  1. Work for It 

While I’ve asked you to not stress about it you still have to actively work for it.

If you want the pay rise then don’t sit and just moan. Show up and show your employer you deserve that pay rise. The people who are on more than you, what do they do? (Refer back to step of acting as if)

Work on the goals you’ve set yourself. For me continuing the lifestyle of high stress wasn’t going to bring my period back. I’m going to need to actively work on my emotional releases, self love and fuelling my body if I’m going to have it back.

  1. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be right now 

This is sometimes one that people struggle with. But understanding that where you are right now is exactly where you’re meant to be is key. Knowing that whatever you’ve been through, whatever you’re going through is there an opportunity for growth and to learn.

For me my lack of period is a physical sign that my lifestyle wasn’t working for my body. It was an opportunity for me to make changes that would get me back on the right path and open up to new experiences. Without my amenorrhea I might not have even got into spirituality as a healing practise, I might not even have been able to share this with you guys.

Love your life even in times of shittiness.

Visualise yourself at your goal.

Believe in yourself.

Remember like attracts like. You’ll receive exactly what you give.

I promise you that you everything in you already that’s required to achieve your dream life, we’ve just got to tap into the tools.

Love ya legends xxx

Imposter’s Syndromme

Imposter’s Syndromme

I haven’t written like this in ages. I haven’t known what to say. I felt I didn’t actually have a anything to say. Even writing this sentence I still feel like i don’t.

I’m in the mist of imposters syndrome at the moment and after listening to Steven Barlett’s podcast on how if you have imposters syndrome is to simply just start. Just do it. Force yourself to just do it.

So here I am forcing myself. Forcing myself to share my journey because I want to help others. So, I guess it’s probably a good start to start with where i’ve been.

I guess its strange to talk like this because I love writing but I kinda feel like an imposter because i’ve changed so so much from some of these posts from when I first started this website.

I was a fitness addict verging on eating disorder thinking that this way of life was the only way of life that everyone should lead. I judged. I felt I was living the perfect lifestyle but I was actually one of the most unhappiest i’ve been.

I can already feel this bringing up emotions i’ve squashed for a few years. Eeek. But as Brene Brown says there is power in vulnerability and I want to share this kind of stuff in hope it really helps people, because how I feel about myself now is miles from how I used too. I guess I feel like i’m writing a guest post on someone else’s website – it’s definitely time for a refresh.

Anyway, yeah, so I judged. On the outside I looked like I had my shit together. On the inside I was hating my body, I was exhausted, destroying relationships and blaming others for things going wrong.

It’s a really strange feeling when you come out the other side of things isn’t it? It’s really fudging uncomfortable to call yourself out on your own shit.

I blamed everyone else for anything that went wrong. I was exhausted of just about everything. Even when things were going fine i’d self sabotage.

I keep seeing the quote ‘it take a strong person to call themselves out on their own shit’ and while thats what I keep telling myself when you realise some stuff it doesn’t half make you feel like a twat lol.

So let’s go back to being a full time PT. I’d be called miserable, because I was. I’d cause an issue about where to go out to eat or at meals in a bid to try eat the lowest calorie food possible. Trying to hold a normal conversation, even over dinner was near enough impossible because I was already having a full blown row in my own head.

I’d want to do something but could only do it if i’d been to the gym and would need to hit my 10,000 steps.

I’d want to eat what I wanted without allowing myself to eat what I wanted.

I wanted to be able to love but couldn’t let myself even love myself.

I wanted my dream career but didn’t have the energy to show up to put the work in.

I wanted my dream body but was starving the one I had.

I was preaching fitness and health while probably being one of my most unhealthiest.

In a bid to perfect, I was destroying what’s around me.

Some days I couldn’t even bring myself to smile.

I talk a lot about law of attraction and when looking back, law of attraction was playing just how it does. I hated myself, so received more negativity. I was so out of alignment to my true self that I destroying things around me.

All without anyone really noticing. I was good at hiding, good at blaming on other things, had great excuses and let ‘the healthy gym goer’ label take centre stage masking everything else.

I haven’t got to where I’d like to be. I still suffer from amenorrhea (lack of a period) from how I treated my body. I still often over work myself, exhaust myself and under fuel myself. I’m still not 100% of emotions that crop up. But I do look in the mirror and love the body i’m in. I do wake up every morning and do my morning gratitude and affirmations. I do manifest amazing things into my life. I do find a positive in pretty much every situation. I’m motivated and want to do some good in the world. I genuinely wake up every morning excited about life, liking who I am.

So while I might not be where I want to be. I am finally aware of how I used to be.

ahhhh its good to be back. I think these kinda posts are going to be featured more on here. It’s like having a convo with myself but exposing it, in hope that it helps others.

nervous to post this.

‘felt cute, might delete later’

lol

omg just post it

ok

posting now.

Team work – the team that made me & realising the team that made you

Team work – the team that made me & realising the team that made you

Haha on a plane again.. which means it’s time to write.

I’ve always been a little odd, always fitted in but been the one with some odd tendencies. During primary school in Kent, I always had friends but never had things in common. While everyone played other games I was happy playing horses or teachers. While everyone had a particular group I floated, some days I was playing football with the boys & Elizabeth – in my eyes an extremely cool girl playing with the boys. She was and may still well be a Tom boy and she owned it. I remember getting picked for teams, me and Elizabeth being the only girls and not getting picked last. I collected football stickers & cards but had no idea who the players were unless it was John Terry or Frank Lampard as I used to marry them in my make believe games. 

While everyone would go home & play on the trampoline I’d have my mums heels on stood on the side of an empty trampoline while my make believe class played on the trampoline while before long it was time to blow the whistle and call them back into class. My mum let me transform the spare room into my class – I still remember that feeling, walking in with my whiteboard on the wall ready to teach. Cor, honestly I felt like the ultimate boss… my own classroom, my own whiteboard pens. What a dream! HA 🤣🤣

My teachers & my mum have also been my inspiration. I’ve grown up around success and successful women with that – my teachers were mostly all female & my mum the ultimate girl boss. 

A single mum who built an incredible life for us all through financial services. My mums got grit, got the grind, got the power. The go get it attitude and I promise you she will go get it. She loves the nice things in life but has always taught me these don’t come easy – you work for them, you make sacrifices, if you want it you’ve got to work for it. She’s such a strong and powerful woman with a hella cackle and light hearted manner, she’s a great party girl and a proper crack. She’s taught me that you work hard and party just as hard. 

My Nan was the best student I had – she’s baby sit us while mum was out working and I’d ask her secretly (I’d actually whisper ‘just quickly nan, this isn’t in the game can you get some wrong so I can teach you’) and then I’d go straight back into my role as a teacher 👩‍🏫 Nan’s Victoria sponge is a childhood memory and so are grandad biscuits – he got diagnosed with diabetes so started only being allowed digestives. My love for those was deep with a cuppa – still is. Nan always loved to play, whether it was shops or teachers. We loved a cuddle and story at bed time, Nan coming round was the best time ever, Nan coming round was comfort & cuddles. Nan coming round meant mum was out hustling. 

I’ve always wanted to be successful, just like mum. I’ve always wanted to be mega cool, just like my aunts & step mum. Aunty Claire was the blonde beauty who looked 21 at 31, still does.. while Tracey & my step mum were edgy and cool – still are, I love how they wear funky things and do cool things without their hair and own it. They are away from the mainstream girls and I bloody love it. 

My stepmums laid back, adventure attitude who taught me so much about jealousy and just doing what you want to do and owning it. She taught me to embrace being different, to wear your hair crazy & that if people looked at you it wasn’t a bad thing. My step mum taught me about accepting people and choosing the right people. Accepting and embracing all of you, including the quirks. I’ll be forever grateful that she has chosen to have me as a daughter, she didn’t have too but we really are just a mum and daughter as much as her and my half sister is. 

My Nanna is the creative one. 3 bridesmaid dresses to be made? No prob. The room where the computer is kept has all her beads and sewing stuff in – I loved loved looking at it all. She also loves teddy bears, like LOVES. I guess I might get my creative edge from her? Looking back I think she taught me more on that whole thing of embracing your individuality and your little quirks. 

I guess that’s why I grew up doing everything I loved …I had friends at primary but had too many interests to sit with one group…  I was part of the ‘popular’ lot at secondary school but was the one also off doing other things, I was a school governor & did every extra curricular activity ever 🤣🤣 

I guess I’ve always been cool by myself. Make believe games meant you were technically just by yourself. Extra curricular activities meant breaking from the crowd. I’ve always been ok with being by myself – & Now I’m still cool with my very few tight friends that sit across the world.

But one thing recently I’ve noticed is all this coolness by myself malarkey means I can take on pressures that could be shared by a team. I’m now part of the best team at FIT, at Pro Direct and often travel with teams – breaking away from adding the pressure so it’s all on me is tough. Remembering it’s not just down to me to make this work could help the stress levels. While I’m a natural lone wolf & happy with it, I’m learning now that greater things can happen when you’re part of a team, when you share your pressures and joys with others, when you distribute the pressure & work together. 

The women in my life haven’t got to where they are by simply trumbling through life by themselves. Mum needed Nan to help with the kids, Nan had my grandad for support etc etc 

I’m so grateful for all the women in my life who have helped shape me and grow me. As a team they created me, as a team we all worked together to have me sitting on this plane to Cologne for an Under Armour launch event in a dream job at 22. And I’m so grateful to the female bosses on team FIT. 

When you think back to your childhood can you spot yourself in the people who are closest to you? 

Thank you for making it this far for my ramble, I often write like this when I’m going through like emotional realisation. 

For me today – ‘you haven’t got to this stage in your life by yourself, so don’t expect to do everything daily yourself’ 

Team work makes the dream work. 

Who’s your team that made you, you? 

5 Tips if You’re Tired All The Time

5 Tips if You’re Tired All The Time

sophie-elvis-709118-unsplash.jpg

Ok so if you follow me on instagram, if not, why not? @chlohodgkinson then you’d know that I’ve been a bit up and down for the whole year so far. It’s actually really common this time of year, at the start of the year I mean with the weather being colder etc and illnesses going around but I thought I’d do some research in to to try sort myself out. With the nights getting lighter and the weather getting warmer, if you’re still feeling tired here’s what i tried and what then happened…

  1. I increased my warm foods. 

Illnesses and colds etc thrive in colder environments hence the increase of colds in winter months. Drinking warming drinks (a personal fave is hot almond milk) and warming foods like root vegetables and soups can help reduce the amount the bad bacteria thriving… buzzing.

  1. Prioritise sleep

Don’t be ashamed to go to bed really early if you need it. Watch the TV programme on catch up and embrace what your body needs. I went through a week period of being asleep before 9, my body clearly needed it. 

  1. Increased calories

When feeling energy depleted, food is the stuff that gives us the energy so I increased my calories to help my body along. 

  1. Keep exercising but reducing intensity 

Intense exercise can be really stressful on the body. I dropped the intensity of my workouts and opted for longer walks instead. 

  1. Check Deficiencies & intolerances

You may or may not have seen that when I eat oats they make me sleepy. That seems to be the case for a lot of grains unfortunately *glances at the packet of over priced rye bread I no longer can eat* … knowing what foods make you feel great and others that don’t can really help your energy levels. I know to avoid oats first thing in the morning but things like bananas pre workout make me feel amazing. 

I’d also recommend seeing if you have a deficiency somewhere, things like anaemia can cause low energy caused by low iron. 

I’d love to know how you keep your energy levels up, I’ve also added in my favourite products that help me with the all the points above.

Wishing you all the energy in the world

Chlo xxx