Intuitive nudge or society norm?
Do you ever find that we are constantly seeking for approval and happiness from others? Not making a decision until someone else has given us the go ahead or running something by someone before we do it.
I do it all the time, I love something but before I do it, I run it past people just to check that it’s valid?
I wonder if it comes from the fact that we spend so so long as ‘kids’. Like think about, most animals are ‘adults’ by the time they are like 4. Where as for us, we live under our parents rules until we are like in our 20’s now.
That’s mad isn’t it?
Think about it, we don’t have own mind until we leave home? But then again I’d argue do we even have it then? As we follow society norms or attend work everyday. Are we just being moulded into something that isn’t truly us?
Don’t worry this isn’t some conspiracy post about the government or anything like that. It’s more a journal entry so I can shine the light on where im waiting for people’s approval and acceptance.
I’ve often ignored my intuition as a way to keep others happy. I’ve thought ‘oh it will be ok’ and guess what? It wasn’t.
Eventually my intuitive nudges become so so loud that it forces you to change.
Youtube was similar, I told myself the story that I no longer did that. I was focusing on Pro:Direct and I no longer had the time…
Eventually my intuitive nudges got louder and I started up again.
Then I started seeing someone and my little tiny voices were ignored, put to bed and I started doing things that people expected me to do but not what my soul really wanted me to do.
It’s like I’ve got this weird switch that as soon as I stop listening to myself I slowly self destruct further. I guess this is a strong sign to keep listening to my intuition right?
I guess it still comes back to the whole not being good enough and seeking outside approval. Worrying people won’t like me if I show my real self or I’ll be seen as selfish if I do something that I just want to do rather than what I have to do.
I’ve become so good as self discipline, that as we know it can go too far and it becomes way too restrictive.
I’m not sure where this leading too today all I know is again I wake up and I commit to finding joy, finding love & doing things that light me up.
As we come to the end of April, another month of the happiness project is done and while I’ve worked well on the things I said:
- Share something everyday, be the light
- Write a schedule for the day
- Prioritise self care
There is actually more I need to do to be able to accept me and fully me.
So here is May:
- Do something I genuinely find joyful and fun everyday. Where I really switch off e.g reading fiction for fun, skateboarding, watching a funny tv show.
- Reach out to a loved one. Having stronger relationships will help me feel as though im accepted and can be fully myself.
- Cook a substantial meal everyday. A fuelled body will keep my energy levels stable which in turn will give me more confidence in my self and is clearly an act of self love.
The journey of feeling good enough continues x x x