Loving Yourself // Now Not Then

This is for me, a very personal post. I’m currently sat in the most lean state my body has ever been in, i’m probably my strongest & also healthiest and happiest. But loving yourself and happiness doesn’t always come hand in hand with looks. Changing my life to becoming a healthier me was without a doubt the best decision I have made. Not only have I found my passion & worth in life but I also walk around in a body that can do some pretty great things. Not only have I found my career but I also have a mindset that some never ever manage to find, partly thanks to my Stepdad, but hugely thanks to the adoption of a healthier lifestyle.

Exercise and being healthy can help you a variety of ways & I am a firm believer than exercise is the answer to 90% of your problems…argument with your mum? Run it out. Boyfriend dumped you? HIIT will sort that out. Hungover? A long gentle walk will help with that head. But one thing i’ve found is that exercise and a healthier lifestyle won’t always make you love yourself and make you happy.

Let me try explain what I mean…

The loosing fat* and added fitness levels I thought would be the answer to loving myself. ‘When i’m a size 8 is when i’ll love myself’, ‘When i’ve got a slim stomach, it will be the best day ever’, ‘When i’ve lost weight, i’ll be happy’ …. oh and how I was wrong.

 *I never lost weight, as I burnt fat I built muscle, I now still weigh roughly the same as I did when I was a size 12.

Changing your weight or clothing size won’t make you love yourself. My biggest mistake was not loving myself for who I was at the start of this journey.

As said above, i’m in my leanest state but now i’ve noticed where I hold fat in specific places and found myself a few weeks back stressing, wanting to get rid of that. I had to sit myself down and give myself a talking to… like wtf, do you even know how far you’ve come? Do you know that actually all your hard work has paid off?! yes was the answer, I just often tend to forget & I soon slapped myself bring myself back to reality.

I’ve always been a bubbly character but when I first started my journey, I didn’t like myself, didn’t know my worth or where I was meant to fit in this scary world. It’s only this summer that I realised what I want & why I want it. I realised who I was as a person and where I fit in, my good traits and my bloody annoying traits that all make up me. I realised my family don’t love me for having a size 8 body, i’m more than my size and shape.

While I appreciate that I know all that now, I strongly believe if I had loved myself for who I was at the start of my journey I would have maybe had a slightly easier ride. I’m more than being a health & fitness fanatic & i’m more than any fitness journey I’m ever on.

My Step-mum told me how her mum used to tell her to remember everything she has achieved in her life and if she can’t think of anything then to hold up a minute because you learnt to walk, feed yourself, talk, pass school, learn to ride a bike, learn to drive bla bla bla, the list goes on.

I guess i’m writing this because i’m asking you, if you’re on your fitness/health journey to stop for one minute. Every so often, stop, look in the mirror, look at your life and everything you’ve achieved in it so far and what makes you as a person… clap yourself for what you’ve achieved & high five yourself for how great you are, because I can bloody promise you something, you’re a lot more than any health journey you’re on now. Look at who you are and love it, you little legend you.

Love Chlo xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.