It’s no secret that i’m into fitness and if it is meant to be a secret then it’s the world’s worst kept one! You wouldn’t be reading this and i’d probably be in a job I hated, but anyway that isn’t the point of this post. Fitness has been a huge part of my life for years now and while i’ve had some amazing results and I could never imagine my life without fitness, it hasn’t been easy.
You see, for years I would starve myself, unintentionally of course in a bid to stick to ‘clean eating’. Clean eating can be bloody dangerous. I became scared of carbs and a huge cardio bunny, scared everything I ate would turn into fat, scared everything I ate would be one step further away from an ab…I would skip meals with friends or plan my whole week around any social event. I would under eat massively during the week which lead to a binge, behind closed doors so no one knew, at the weekends…but the abs never came, the energy went & the obsession deepened.
I found myself at any given moment looking in a mirror and checking my stomach and body for any changes… why isn’t there any abs? Why don’t I have any shape? I hated myself and I was completely obsessed with fat loss, even though looking back, there actually wasn’t much fat to lose.
I looked in the mirror and saw something that wasn’t actually there – an out of shape ‘skinny’ fat person. I wasn’t fat but I didn’t like myself – so i’d go to the gym again, or eat even less at dinner. I was in the mind set of the more you train the better you are, the less you eat the better you are. It got to the point if I went to bed hungry, then that was a good thing…..
I thought I knew it all when I was dramatically under eating, I thought I was healthy and a fitness pro. But now, i’ve got the qualifications now and look after my body in a completely different way and what amazes me the most is the mentality comes with eating well, by giving your body exactly what you need you’ll find your mind stops playing so many tricks on you too. Now, i’m a completely different person but that’s only been in the past 6 months – which is scary really. You’ve prob seen it on my other posts, but i’m eating more or less double which means my energy has doubled and my progress trippled.
Fitness and health is the most incredible journey anyone could go on and can change people’s lives but my biggest tip for anyone would be to see a professional, have a coach to help you through it because although it is amazing it can also be extremely dangerous.
I don’t regret all the mistakes I made as the experience now allows me to not only be compassionate to other clients but I can see the early signs of any dangerous routes that clients could be taking. I still wonder where I would be without these qualifications, would I have carried on? Could it have spiralled out of control? Was I just a bit obsessed or was I actually undiagnosed?